I am always wary and indeed I grow weary, with the overuse or misuse of language, yet the work I find myself drawn to, is full of buzzwords. You know... words like 'co-create, hold space, curiosity, trauma or trauma-informed'.
Language must be used to create meaning, in order to support us in relationship to each other and to our learning, healing and growth.
I'd like to provide you with some idea of the meaning of the word 'trauma' in the context of my counselling and coaching work, in the hope that it inspires you to recognise that your own suffering has roots, which can be validated and pain which can be processed.
The healing starts when you realise you are not broken, nothing needs to be fixed, that the mind-body knew how to protect you, how to help you survive and also how to heal.
If you've ever felt stuck, or hurt by life events, or confused and lost, you're not alone. Life and our response to it can bring great suffering, but thankfully it is entirely possible to heal and thrive.
Read on, to learn more about trauma.
'Not Waving but Drowning', an evocative and painful poem, by Stevie Smith, which I studied in high school (35 years ago).
It speaks to the tragic isolation of being misunderstood, caused by the separation we can experience, between internal truth and external illusion.
What is trauma?
In the world of Embodied Processing, trauma refers to a stuck survival response. Trauma is not the event that happens to us, but rather the interruption, disruption or repression, of our natural survival response and the imprint then left in our psyche and in our body. If the survival response is not completed, it continues to loop, like a stuck record.
In terms of being in the world, we play out the same behaviours over and over again, we may feel that we are stuck, limited or trapped in some way and we may even seek out similar events or relationships, such as those which threatened our safety in the first instance, like an unconscious attraction to that which set the response in motion… perhaps with the subconscious hope that finally the survival response will have an opportunity to achieve completion.
Another way of looking at trauma, is that it is the undigested or incomplete response to a threatening event or experience. There is a disconnection from Self (with a capital S) and truth, when our survival response is not fully processed. A part of us becomes exiled and wounded.
Types of trauma
- Pre-verbal trauma (in-utero and 0-18 months)
This is the pre-verbal stage of life and healing this type of trauma, requires a somatic approach. Pre-verbal trauma may show up as a disconnect, no memory and no narrative, but a lingering feeling in the body-mind.
- Developmental (0-10 years of age)
This is when we are growing our identity, our sense of belonging and our sense of safety. This is also when we develop our attachment styles… how we connect and relate with those closest to us. We are learning what appears to be needed, in order to stay connected to our primary caregivers and we take this out into the world with us, as we grow older.
- Acute Trauma
A single or repeated event occurs, which threatens our safety or our life. E.g.: sexual abuse, car accident, sudden bereavement.
- Intergenerational
DNA passes on to successive generations, as survival instincts and stuck patterns/habits.
- Collective
Unconscious, socio-cultural conditioning, which can include all the previous types of trauma.
While the conscious mind may forget the events, which set trauma in motion, the body never forgets. The suppressed/repressed/undigested/unprocessed emotions are stored in the body, they silently sabotage our life path, influence our behaviours, affect our wellbeing and our happiness.
“In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them.
Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.”
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Embodied Processing and other somatic psychotherapeutic methods, allow the stored emotions to be purposefully felt, processed and integrated. This can only happen by establishing a resource of safety in the mind-body and in relationship with a trusted and safe guide. These are tried and tested methods, which assist clients in self-inquiry and processing disturbing feelings and triggers.
If we do not do this, the holding patterns can lead to self-management behaviours such as addiction, feelings of hopelessness, dissatisfaction, perfectionism, relationship issues, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, lack of direction and physical illness.
Identity & Trauma
Trauma creates a false sense of self, with self-limiting core beliefs.
The ability to complete a survival response depends on our environment and those around us, as well as early conditioning. If we believe certain things about our self (self with a small s = ego identity) and the world around us, we will continue to behave in ways which are led by and reinforce those core beliefs. The environment or people around us may very well reinforce that.
Through understanding the origins of our core beliefs, with the assistance of a counsellor or coach and via the felt-sense in the body, we can start to generate compassion to those wounded parts and their beliefs, from our true Self.
Self-energy can then provide the missing experience for the wounded or exiled part(s).
An example of a limiting core belief: ‘I have to be self-reliant and never ask for help, because as a child, my mother never came to comfort me when I cried and so I learnt to believe that my needs would not be met and that I needed to solve my problems on my own’.
What is Self?
Embodied processing and somatic approaches can create permanent healing, self-knowledge and growth.
As we awaken to our true nature (Self, with a capital S), by slowly validating the experiences of our wounded parts and welcoming them all ‘home’ to the safety within us, we start to grow our capacity to operate in the world from an unchanging place of compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calmness, confidence, courageousness, and connectedness. (These 6 Cs are principles of Self, as described in Dr. Richard Schwartz's Internal Family Systems, a trauma-informed method and tool which I employ and have done comprehensive training in).
Life and the nature of our human mind, will always bring stress and unpredictability, but if we can stay connected to the Self, whilst still experiencing the human emotions and mind-body experience, we will find that navigating the stormy waters will become easier. We can build capacity to allow strong emotions, be in difficult experiences, remaining steady within and equanimous for those around us too.
This leads us further towards a spiritual and contented life.
Who am I?
“So long as we are drawing our sense of self from what our mind is telling us about who we are, we are bound to continue trying to fix, maintain, control and manipulate our experience. This is exhausting and in the end, futile.
We have to realise (know) the space in which becoming (mind-body) arises. This realisation is the opening and beginning of our sense of unity with life, and the first glimpse of what lies beyond our mind”.
Quote taken from The Centre for Healing blog, April 26th, 2022.
‘I’ am pure consciousness, manifesting as a human mind-body.
Embodied Processing not only heals trauma, but can expand our consciousness, to realise we are truly limitless.
If you want to understand and welcome all parts of your inner world and move forward with hope in your heart, I am available in-person and remotely.
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Comments
Great article, Gemma. Thanks for sharing it on Facebook. (I'm on EP module 9)
Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback on my article. It means a lot to know people are connecting with my work. Go well with EP & please reach out anytime for support.